We Ain't Got No History
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Sunderland vs. Chelsea, Premier League: Preview, team news, how to watch
Chelsea come into the final weekend of the Premier League season still harboring some hopes of European football. Tuesday’s amusing win over Tottenham Hotspur, which not only raised spirits but kept Spurs still under threat of relegation, has us sitting in eighth currently, which would be good enough for another tour of obscure European towns […]
How should Chelsea line up against Sunderland in the final match of the season?
We’re done to just one, one final game in what’s been a rather disappointing season. We enter the weekend in eighth and can finish no higher than seventh. We could however drop as low as tenth. Seventh and eighth places would entail some European football next season, Europa League for the former and Conference League […]
The Daily Hilario: Saturday
Hmm Leading POTS
Chelsea romp to U18 Premier League crown with 5-1 win over Manchester City in National Final
Chelsea won the South. Manchester City won the North. Then they met in the final, and Chelsea won it all. It was a fitting end to the Baby Blues’ dominant U18 Premier League campaign. We won the Southern section by a whopping thirteen points over second place Tottenham Hotspur, losing just three of the 28 […]
Reece James in, Cole Palmer out as Thomas Tuchel picks England squad for World Cup
There will be just one Chelsea player in the England squad this summer as Thomas Tuchel tries to lead the Three Lions to that ever-elusive World Cup trophy, with the likes of Cole Palmer and Levi Colwill left off the final 26-man squad announced this morning. In Colwill’s case (or in the case of Trevoh […]
The Daily Hilario: Friday
If POTS Contact
Xabi Alonso, the last big bet that BlueCo get at Chelsea
Chelsea have appointed Xabi Alonso as the new manager, and for the first time in a long time, our managerial appointment actually feels connected to the squad we have been building. That probably sounds obvious. It should be obvious. But for most of the BlueCo era, Chelsea have often looked like a club building two […]
The Daily Hilario: Thursday
Long shots Inevitable Most
Chelsea 2-1 Tottenham Hotspur, Player Ratings: Enzo answers the call
1. ENZO FERNÁNDEZ (8.2) I guess the key question is, who was on the other end of the line? It’s not the first time Enzo’s done the phone call celebration, so let’s just leave it at the ambiguous notion that he’s answering the call — the call to action, the call to motivation, the call […]
Calum McFarlane set to stay at Chelsea and join Xabi Alonso’s staff — reports
Kinetic Foundation’s favorite son, Calum McFarlane has done a decent enough job as interim Chelsea head coach across his two stints this season, and for that he’s set to be rewarded with a spot on incoming manager Xabi Alonso’s staff next season, according to a report earlier this week from The Athletic. McFarlane, who’s only […]
McFarlane hails ‘real team performance’ as Chelsea push through fatigue in Spurs win
Interim head coach Calum McFarlane admitted that many players last night lacked the intensity and energy to compete for 90 minutes at the very end of a grueling two seasons of no-break football. It wasn’t for a lack of trying; we simply have little left in the tank at this point. So we had to […]
The Daily Hilario: Wednesday
Leaving Darkest timeline Wow
João Pedro named Chelsea Player of the Season for 2025-26
João Pedro was named Chelsea Player of the Season on Tuesday, collecting his award at last night’s game against Tottenham Hotspur, which he would otherwise unfortunately miss with an unspecified knock. The recognition came just hours after JP found out that he was surprisingly left off the Brazil squad for the World Cup. But other […]
Chelsea 2-1 Tottenham Hotspur, Premier League: Post-match reaction, ratings
Both teams had something to play for, but only Chelsea seemed to want to do something about it at first, with the visitors offering very little, outside of a few enterprising runs from Mathys Tel, who seemed to be under the impression that it was 30°C outside and really needed to tuck up one leg of […]
Chelsea vs. Tottenham Hotspur, Premier League: Lineups & Game Thread
It’s the final home game of the season, and it could be a juicy one: Spurs are here and fighting for their Premier League survival. They need a point to avoid relegation; we need a win to keep faint hopes alive of Champions League (or Europa League) football next season. It’s still Calum McFarlane in […]
Chelsea fans’ preferred lineup against Spurs: Let’s try it without Levi Colwill
Levi Colwill has made a tangible difference in our defending his return from ACL surgery, but he’s only been back for a three games, so asking him to start two games in four days is surely far too much at this stage. So we’re likely to rotate at the back tonight against Spurs, with the […]
The Daily Hilario: Tuesday
Deal Deal x2 Hmm
Chelsea vs. Tottenham Hotspur, Premier League: Preview, team news, how to watch
Chelsea take to the pitch at Stamford Bridge one last time this season — a season that’s been nothing short of a disappointing failure even if by some miracle we end up with Champions League football still. Here’s that most unlikely, but mathematically still possible scenario: And that’s how tenth-place Chelsea could yet finish sixth, […]
João Pedro snubbed by Brazil, Andrey Santos left off World Cup squad, too
Only three players have scored more goals in the Premier League than João Pedro this season, and that list gets cut down to just one if we only look at non-penalty goals. That one player is Erling Haaland. After that, it’s JP and Antoine Semenyo with 15 each, followed closely by Igor Thiago at 14. […]
How should Chelsea line up to keep Spurs in relegation danger?
Chelsea’s last home game of the season is tomorrow night, and it’s a fairly significant one, even if there isn’t much riding on it in terms of our own ambitions. While there is still an outside chance that we finish in the Europa League positions, or perhaps the UEFA Conference League position, neither one of […]
The Daily Hilario: Netflix and Vardy Party
Watched a couple documentaries that came out recently on Netflix this weekend, including the one about the French team at the 2010 World Cup and the one about Jamie Vardy. Both quite good; the latter excellent, even. I vaguely remember the 2010 scandal for the French, who ended up going briefly on strike at the […]
Chelsea 0-1 Manchester City, Player Ratings: Preventing 99-in-100 goals
1. LEVI COLWILL (7.4) Colwill has been back for just three games, and he’s finished on the player ratings podium in all three: second, third, and now first. Our Man of the Match in the FA Cup final, as Chelsea kept Manchester City at bay … except for a goal that interim head coach Calum […]
Xabi Alonso wants to ‘sign and create mentality monsters’ at Chelsea — report
The phrase is usually credited to former Liverpool boss Jürgen Klopp, who described his charges as “[FUNNING] mentality monsters” after their famous comeback against Barcelona in the 2019 Champions League semifinals. Chelsea FC Women manager Emma Hayes would use it famously a couple years later as well, after a similar comeback at the same stage […]
Official: Chelsea appoint Xabi Alonso as new manager
Chelsea have found our new head coach and have swiftly moved through the process of hiring him, getting everything done and dusted even before the official end of the 2025-26 season. Granted, our season effectively ended with Saturday’s FA Cup final defeat, consigning us (most probably) to no European football next season, but we’ve followed […]
The Daily Hilario: Sunday
Nice Cheat code Back