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We Ain't Got No History

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Everton vs. Chelsea, Premier League: Preview, team news, how to watch

Chelsea have hit a dizzying downward spiral in record time over the past ten days or so — going to hell in a handbasket is a phrase that comes to mind — and there’s certainly a non-zero chance that the events of the last three games will end up derailing the entire rest of our […]

3 months ago · 8 reads

How should Chelsea line up against Everton to get season back on track?

It’s not getting any easier for Chelsea; in fact, it may be getting harder as we head up to Merseyside this weekend. Goodison away is never an easy place to play, and right now, it might be downright intimidating. Good thing Everton don’t play at Goodison anymore! The Toffees’ record in their fancy new digs […]

4 months ago · 9 reads

Chelsea 0-3 PSG, Player Ratings: Another for the Hall of Shame

For the third consecutive year, we have at least one new addition to the WAGNH Community Player Ratings Hall of Shame, a.k.a. (televised) games from the past fourteen years where the overall average rating was below 4.0. (As usual, the caveat about “televised games” is to explain why the 4-2 home defeat to third division […]

4 months ago · 5 reads

Chelsea FCW 2-1 Brighton & Hove Albion WFC, Women’s Super League: Post-match reaction

Given our very limited options for the backline in light of several centre-back injuries and the fact this squad is coming from a hard-fought final win against Manchester United in the Women’s League Cup only three days ago, you couldn’t ask for a better start for Chelsea Women. Brighton tried to explore our defensive woes […]

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4 months ago · 7 reads

Enzo Fernández gives his Chelsea future the ‘we’ll see’ treatment

Enzo Fernández recently celebrated his third anniversary at Chelsea Football Club, moving past 150 appearances in all competitions, after joining us from Benfica in January 2023 for what was then a British-record transfer fee. Enzo was fresh off of winning the World Cup with Argentina just a month prior, announcing himself on the world stage […]

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4 months ago · 6 reads

Trevoh Chalobah suffers high ankle sprain in PSG defeat

To complete our misery on this Tuesday night, Trevoh Chalobah suffered a serious-looking injury in the final few minutes of the game, getting stretchered off the pitch with plenty of concern from all around. Considering that it came in the final minutes of an absolute blowout makes it even more frustrating. After the game, head […]

4 months ago · 3 reads

Chelsea 0-3 (2-8 agg.) PSG, Champions League: Post-match reaction, ratings

Well, at least it’s over now. Any hopes of a miracle were put to bed right quick, with that man again, Kvaratskhelia scoring barely six minutes into the “contest”, then PSG doubling their lead by way of a tremendous strike from Barcola. The olé’s started by the 30th minute from the visiting section. And it […]

4 months ago · 3 reads

Chelsea vs. PSG, Champions League: Confirmed lineups; how to watch

Welcome to the second leg of the Champions League Round of 16. Chelsea are about to make history and come back from a three-goal deficit to advance, right? Yeah, probably not. But hey, might as well try. I have no idea what’s going on with that backline, but otherwise it’s a familiar lineup from Liam […]

4 months ago · 3 reads

Chelsea fans’ preferred lineup against PSG: Defensive changes needed

Chelsea are in a massive hole for tonight’s Champions League Round of 16 second leg against PSG, and it will take something extraordinarily historic to get out of it. If I were in charge, I’d just play the Chelsea Old Boys, plus maybe Rosenior himself. Maybe get Maresca & Co back, too. How’s Paul Winstanley’s […]

4 months ago · 3 reads

Chelsea vs. PSG, Champions League: Preview, team news, how to watch

For all intents and purposes, this tie should be over. And barring an absolute miracle of miracles, it is over. We’re talking a miracle bigger than anything we can think of. Bigger than #DareToDemba in 2014. Bigger than Vicenza, Bruges, or Barca ‘05. Bigger than anything that happened in 2012, be that Napoli, Barcelona, or […]

4 months ago · 3 reads

How should injury-hit Chelsea line up to attempt La Remontada II against PSG?

In the illustrious history of the Champions League, there have only been a handful of comebacks from a three-goal deficit. One of those, in the 2016-17 Round of 16, involved PSG, who beat Barca, 4-0 in Paris, then hilariously proceeded to lose 6-1 in Barcelona in the second leg. That second leg became known simply […]

4 months ago · 4 reads

Reece James ruled out for a number of weeks with hamstring injury

On Friday, in the wake of the announcement of his new six-year contract, Reece James told reporters that physically he was in a “really good place”, able to consistently play two-three games a week after several years of battling hamstring injuries and not being able to stay consistently fit. On Monday, head coach Liam Rosenior […]

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4 months ago · 3 reads

Chelsea fined £10.75m by Premier League for historical ‘secret payments’

The Premier League have concluded their own investigation of Chelsea’s self-reported “incomplete financial reporting” from the Abramovich Era, and have levied a fine of £10.75m on the club, along with a suspended first-team transfer ban for two years as well as a nine-month ban on signing any Academy players from any other English club’s academy. […]

4 months ago · 4 reads

Chelsea 0-1 Newcastle United, Player Ratings: Mag-pied

1. ROBERT SÁNCHEZ (5.8) We’ve seen plenty of Chelsea defeats over the years, but this one felt fairly unique amid all of that. It’s hard to think of a more flat, boring, toothless approach and execution, especially given the magnitude of the game at hand. Newcastle weren’t much better, but they take the win thanks […]

4 months ago · 3 reads

Chelsea FCW 2-0 Manchester United WFC, Women’s League Cup final: Post-match reaction

While the fight for a Women’s Super League seems like an afterthought for Chelsea Women, that’s not the case for all other competitions the team are still in. Including the Women’s League Cup, in which they reached the final for a seventh consecutive time after beating Liverpool and Manchester City in the previous rounds. In […]

4 months ago · 4 reads