We Ain't Got No History
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Estêvão to miss rest of season, World Cup with very serious hamstring injury — report
Estêvão was forced off early on in Saturday night’s game against Manchester United with an apparent hamstring injury, and while initial hopes were that it wouldn’t be too bad of a problem, reports today are indicating otherwise. In fact, he may have suffered the worst possible version. Most healthcare providers categorize muscle strains into three […]
Official: Chelsea sack Liam Rosenior
With Chelsea in the midst of an historically terrible run of results, including five straight defeats in the league without scoring even a single goal, something that last happened to us in 1912, the inevitable simply had to follow. Liam Rosenior was dismissed this morning by the club, after three and half months (just over […]
The Daily Hilario: Wednesday
Surprise Relegated Hmm
Liam Rosenior admits he’s lost the dressing room at Chelsea
After the final whistle, Liam Rosenior stood apologetically in front of the traveling support that spent a good portion of the second half calling for his head (amid the even more frequent chants against the ownership), having overseen yet another tragic performance from Chelsea in a 3-0 defeat against midtable powerhouse Brighton & Hove Albion. […]
Brighton & Hove Albion 3-0 Chelsea, Premier League: Post-match reaction, ratings
LOL. PLAYER RATINGS:
Brighton & Hove Albion vs. Chelsea, Premier League: Lineups & Game Thread
Welcome to the latest episode of the Chelsea Show, where it’s all disappointment all the time! Sounds fun. Let’s watch some more! To add to our fun, we’ve got no Estêvão, no João Pedro, and now no Cole Palmer either. Not sure what’s the specific reason. Maybe his Manchester quotes got taken out of context […]
Chelsea fans’ preferred lineup against Brighton: Anybody but Garnacho
Chelsea have two fit wingers at the moment, but one of them is called Alejandro Garnacho, and he’s so out of favor, that he managed to collect just 14% of the vote for tonight’s preferred starting lineup. Even Jesse Derry (18%) and the local myth that is Marc Guiu (15%) have managed more. Neither of […]
Brighton & Hove Albion vs. Chelsea, Premier League: Preview, team news, how to watch
Chelsea staggered to yet another toothless defeat on Saturday night, losing 1-0 to Manchester United at Stamford Bridge. Head coach Liam “Cannot Lie” Rosenior called our performance “dominant” and our defeat “impossible”, but sadly, the only thing we dominated were a few ultimately meaningless statistics and our defeat felt not only quite possible, but highly […]
The Daily Hilario: Tuesday
Hired Free Most
How should Chelsea line up against Brighton to maybe win a game for once … or at least score a goal?
Chelsea are back in action tomorrow night, away to fellow midtable mediocres Brighton & Hove Albion. It’s not much of a turnaround from Saturday night’s disappointment: not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Not sure it matters. What might matter is getting João Pedro back. Unfortunately, Liam Rosenior was not quite […]
Chelsea 0-1 Manchester United, Player Ratings: Searching for any green shoots
1. JORREL HATO (6.8) It was another game in which there wasn’t much to be happy about, but young Jorrel Hato continues to catch the eye with some solid performances at the back — once again deployed out of position, at center back. Not many players have shown improvement since Liam Rosenior’s appointment, but Hato […]
The Daily Hilario: Monday
First Second Farmers’ league
The Daily Hilario: Sunday
Longest Hmm Oof
Liam Rosenior left befuddled by ‘impossible’ defeat after ‘dominant’ performance
Chelsea succumbed to the evil cosmic forces of football once again on Saturday night, losing our fourth Premier League game in a row, all without managing to score a single stinking goal. We did hit the woodwork three times, so we’ve got that going for us, but beyond that, it was yet another toothless, uninspiring […]
Chelsea 0-1 Manchester United, Premier League: Post-match reaction, ratings
Michael Carrick took over Manchester United in January and they didn’t know what was a loss under the new boss until March. Having done so without reinventing the wheel, their overly passive posture at Stamford Bridge wasn’t much of a surprise. Estêvão, who got a starting spot alongside Cole Palmer and Pedro Neto, tried to […]
Chelsea vs. Manchester United, Premier League: Lineups & Game Thread
It’s time for a direct top-five fight at Stamford Bridge with Chelsea hosting Manchester United. The Red Devils had been somewhat red hot in form since firing Rúben Amorim and rehiring Michael Carrick, but they have slowed down in recent times. The biggest surprise today is Moisés Caicedo donning the captain armband even though Enzo […]
Chelsea fans’ preferred lineup against Manchester United: Enzo back in
Enzo Fernández is back from the two-match suspension, and the WAGNH Community have wasted no time in reinserting him back into the starting lineup. His vote totals did get hit just a little bit (only in the low 90s, rather than the usual upper 90s), but otherwise he seems to have suffered no ill will […]
The Daily Hilario: Saturday
Agreement Hmm Oof
Cole Palmer reiterates commitment to Chelsea, belief in better days ahead
Cole Palmer was named captain for our FA Cup quarterfinal match againt Port Vale the other week. It was largely a performative gesture, surely, but it was a gesture that has now been repaid in kind by the 23-year-old, who has publicly reaffirmed his commitment to Chelsea, along with his continued belief in our (flawed) […]
Chelsea vs. Manchester United, Premier League: Preview, team news, how to watch
I am currently sitting on an airplane — WiFi on airplanes, even with hiccups, is certainly a modern marvel — flying east, towards Tampa, Florida where the latest Premier League USA Fanfest is being held. I figured, why wallow in my constant disappointment and sadness alone when I could wallow in constant disappointment and sadness […]
Official: Moisés Caicedo signs new Chelsea contract
We could certainly use a few wins at the moment, both on and off the pitch, so here’s one of the latter variety. Moisés Caicedo has put pen to paper on the new long-term contract extension, good through 2033. His previous deal was set to expire in 2031 (plus a club option for an additional […]
The Daily Hilario: Friday
First Second Third
How should Chelsea line up against Manchester United to break out of this losing streak?
Not counting FA Cup matches against lower-league opposition, Chelsea are currently on a run of one win in nine, including five straight defeats, four of them by three-goal margins. The last three of those were all matching 3-0 defeats, extending our goalless streak to over 300 minutes against teams not named Port Vale. In short, […]
Levi Colwill set for rehab start with Chelsea U21
Levi Colwill has been working all season to come back as soon as humanly possible from the ACL injury he suffered in preseason, and it looks like he just might achieve his ambitious goal of getting to play before the end of the season. The 23-year-old has been slowly ramping up his involvement in first-team […]
How much trouble are Chelsea in after posting record losses?
Chelsea’s full accounts for 2024-25 were published earlier this week, revealing details behind the record £250m+ losses posted for the fiscal year. This is all funny math to me, but I suppose the big question is, are we in trouble? As in, is the club’s existence or viability as a top-flight institution being threatened? As […]
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