The quintessential Big Ten smoking room.
A helpful guide to the Big Ten and beyond in the Sweet Sixteen. Discussions elsewhere have reminded me that there is still, in fact, other college basketball going on — I had personally set a reminder for The College Basketball Crown on Wednesday, April 1, and gone into hibernation. Alas. Given those results, we’ve got […]
All five Big Ten teams survived Saturday—Sunday could have more chalk, and if it holds, only one B1G team will survive today. We had our best friends over yesterday, up from wisconsin, with their two boys in tow. Basically spent the whole day running around after the kids, though with drinks in hand—Cutwater margaritas and […]
Seven B1G teams remain. Four play today. How many will be left standing? I get to go to TopGolf with some friends in town and our four children under 5. Why was this a good idea? I don’t know, as we’re going at 9am so it’s (1) cheaper and (2) I can’t drink—at least I’m […]
I’m bad with money and missed the first day of the NCAA Tournament because I’m driving around the rural Midwest, but at least I’m not a wisconsin fan Look, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in life. Was it a particularly good idea to plan a driving trip to Detroit on March because (1) I […]
It’s the most wonderful day of the year! …and I’m in Detroit without access to a TV. So here we go! NCAA Tournament Schedule [9] TCU Horned Frogs vs. [8] Ohio State Buckeyes11:15am | CBS | OSU -2.5 | O/U 146.5 Second round would be an accomplishment for the Buckeyes, who will run up against […]
Was Miami a fraud all along? MAYBE WE FIND OUT! Why the cover photo? I don’t know. I woke up this morning to an angry text from my wife demanding to know why I—a person who just drove out to Detroit—paid $50 three separate times for gas in the last three days. Uh…because gas? Iran? […]
Pick stupid games, win stupid prizes. Please consider joining the 2026 Off Tackle Political System Bracket Challenge. Consider it the United Nations, but I’m not sure who’s got veto power and we have no intention of invading Korea or Iraq or anywhere else. Robin’s egg blue helmets? Group: Off Tackle Political System Bracket Challenge: https://fantasy.espn.com/games/tournament-challenge-bracket-2026/group?id=d517a18c-2551-432e-8734-4fc4d3140761&joinKey=33406b3b-7262-3cc6-8b38-2f92849cd5ab&joini...
The Big Ten’s teams appear pretty settled. But will there be a surprise? Hello from Michigan City, Indiana. Never mind why. In fleeing the snowstorm currently coating Minnesota and wisconsin in a heavy blanket of icy, blowing snow, I nearly neglected to get you a Championship Sunday open thread. A thousand pardons. I’m sure you […]
After Friday’s four-point victory over Ohio State, Michigan head coach Dusty May was asked if he liked close games. “If we win, yes, I love it,” he quipped. He must have loved Saturday’s game against Wisconsin. In a contest that started out slowly but heated up late, Michigan prevailed in a thriller thanks to a […]
Day 4 of the Big Ten Tournament weighed in pretty heavily on this one. Big Ten Tournament, Day 4 Recaps [1] Michigan Wolverines 71, [8] Ohio State Buckeyes 67 God bless Brian Gillis for caring about this game, because I couldn’t bring myself to: [5] wisconsin badgers 91, [4] Illinois Fighting Illini 88 (OT) lmao. […]
When Michigan began its defense of its Big Ten tournament championship, it was only fitting that it did so against its greatest gridiron rival: Ohio State. With the ghosts of Jim Jackson, Lawrence Funderburke and Chris Jent watching, the Buckeyes sought to get off the schneide against the Wolverines and derail their rival’s bid to […]
When the three-balls go up, who knows where they’ll come down… Good morning and welcome to the…quarterfinals?…of the Big Ten Tournament. We’ve got your recaps and looks ahead to today, but first, it’s time to pay off the headline talker. In this article… Rest in Peace, You Crazy Format The College Basketball Invitational is no […]
Indiana, you big banana. Here’s a place-filler open thread because life’s crazy. Probably will have some time/tv/line/SEO-friendly stuff coming your way in a minute. For now: Day 2 Recaps [9] Iowa Hawkeyes 75, [17] Maryland Terrapins 64 The above was actually unfair to Maryland — the Terps had a halftime lead on the Hawkeyes that […]
Indiana, you big banana. Here’s a place-filler open thread because life’s crazy. Probably will have some time/tv/line/SEO-friendly stuff coming your way in a minute. For now: Day 2 Recaps Day 3 Previews [9] Iowa Hawkeyes vs. [8] Ohio State Buckeyes11am | BTN | Ohio State -1.5 (completely made-up) | O/U 136.5 (completely made-up) 12] Washington […]
THAT’S RIGHT I DID IT! This was supposed to go out at 10:30; instead, I had the slightly-off kind of student who just smiles blankly at you spend 45 minutes telling me about the Wikipedia pages he edited and showing me his family tree, which he makes in a geneaology editing platform. I’m not sure […]
In a world of good basketball, these are two games! Today begins the 2026 Big Ten Men’s Basketball Tournament—LIVE!—from Chicago, Illinois. Should today’s games be happening? That’s a highly-subjective question that requires you to remember that last year there were only 15 teams allowed into the Big Ten Tournament and that this year, in the […]
Big Ten bracketology updates—including NIT projections!—ahead of the Big Ten Tournament. Let’s get right to it; here’s your roundup: B1G Thoughts Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Big Ten Tournament Day 1 previews and open thread dropping in two hours. Make sure you get your picks in the Official OTE Big Ten Tournament Bracket Challenge—those close at 3am […]
Who cuts down the tickets and punches the nets in Chicago? YOU TELL US. Oh hey, the Big Ten Men’s Basketball Tournament starts tomorrow with the Games of Shame! By no popular demand whatsoever, we’re bringing back our clunky and outdated methods of a Big Ten men’s basketball tournament format: the janky Google Form! Fill […]
The last go-round of court-kissing and jersey-framing before it’s on to the tourney. Big Ten Bracketology Roundup No witty thoughts today; I think Washington and USC will be fine entrants in The Crown. Big Ten Final Weekend Saturday, March 7 wisconsin badgers at #15 Purdue Boilermakers3pm | CBS | Purdue -7.5 | O/U 155.5 Indiana […]
Frankly, is the RedHawks’ resume all that good? As the college basketball regular season hurtles toward the finish line and teams jockey for position in the NCAA Tournament—and, of course, the almighty The Crown, an Equally-Prestigious Competition which must be spelled as The Crown every single time with no exceptions—we approach the silly season that […]
Bracketology. But first—a horrible mixed drink. Good evening. Big Ten bracketology soon—in the meantime, what I’ve posed to the writers: What is the worst mixer you’ve ever made? I don’t mean, like, “I have a problem” things like cough syrup and tequila; thinking more things like my own example, Diet Coke and gin. MNW: The […]
An alliterative attempt to assuage anxieties at approaching athletic arbitrations. It is, I am told, almost March. That season is, to many degenerates—including many of you here!—zero hour. Hither comes bracket season. Yon goeth the bottom feeders. THE CROWN APPROACHETH. …or the NCAA Tournament. Whatever. We’ve got bracketology updates—not because, as a Northwestern fan, I’m […]
We’ll always have 49-20. Per reports yesterday, Rondale Moore has died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his hometown of New Albany, Indiana. The Purdue alumnus was 25 and attempting a comeback following a season for the Minnesota Vikings that ended with a preseason injury. Crisis Hotline If you or someone you know is struggling, […]
Add money, coach, and stir. (Add money, coach and stir?) Where’s that panda… Who in the Big Ten could be the “next Indiana”? This morning, as I read Matt Brown’s steady and vital reporting on money in college football, I got to thinking about Hoosiers’ meteoric rise in football, simultaneously explainable and completely inexplicable. Today’s […]
and I, for one, blame Rutgers. The first half ended with an abortive run-out by the Ducks concluded with a missed layup, and the Gophers turning that into a half-court possession in the final ten seconds in which some Gopher—and I promise you, I am not going to learn which one it was—put a baseline […]